It’s a bit of a splurge, but Prana also owns Chill, my ultimate favorite reflexology place in Bali, so I know it’s going to be quality. Unlike Chill with its clean, sparse design, Prana Spa is quite elaborate. The décor has lots of Indian influence with rich colors and regal flourishes. And the spa is part of a bigger complex including villas, a delicious veggie restaurant I went to twice (a veggie restaurant that also happens to serve meat!), and a pretty kick ass and reasonably priced store.

After checking in at the front desk and being a dork by taking pics (so my Betties can get a feel for the place), I am led back into the spa complex to an ornate changing room. Another woman, who I will affectionately refer to as the Spa Nazi, instructs me on the finer points of dressing roomery. It’s not so much in a “let me be helpful to you” kind of way more than it is a “I’m the boss, jackass” type of helpful. I don’t dare ask to take pictures of the dressing room. I don’t even dare to look around too much. But before I get a detention for snapping my gum, I am fetched for my Ayuervedic Shiro Dara treatment.

In the treatment room, I spy what I assume is the oil drooling device and I start to feel giddy. But before we can get to the good stuff, the whole thing starts off with a scalp, neck and shoulder massage. It’s nice and all, but I’m anxious for the oil. And soon enough it comes.

Regarded as an anti-aging treatment, Shiro Dara is also said to awaken the third eye. At first mine says, “Hey, who the F$#@ is pouring hot oil all over me?” but after a minute or so it says, “Mmmm, this feels good if I just keep my lid closed.” The oil is warm and silky and oh so soothing as it glides over my skin and starts to drench my hair. Every once in a while, the technician moves the spigot around so that the oil isn’t just spilling onto the same spot on my head. I think about how this whole process sounds similar to Chinese water torture and I can’t help but think what a difference viscosity makes.

Unsure of how long it will last, I spend most of the time trying not to worry about when it will stop. Maybe defeating the purpose. But either way, I feel relaxed and calm and pampered. After about 20 minutes, the well is dry and I am again given a neck and shoulder massage. But now it’s just feeling kind of irritating because the technician keeps rubbing the same few places over and over again. Soon enough, I am offered tea and led back up to the Spa Nazi. I spend my time in the shower thinking up ways of getting myself my own oil dribble machine. With spa prices what they are in the States, I doubt I’ll ever know the pleasures of Shiro Dara again.

Travel Betty Basics

Prana Spa at the Villas
Seminyak, Bali, Indonesia
Ambiance: 5.0 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Treatment: 3.5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Cost: $75 U.S. (the only place that charged me in dollars)

Note: I was able to make a reservation for my treatment online which was great because I didn’t have a phone. But I didn’t get a same-day appointment, so if you want to go, make sure that you reserve ahead of time. It’s the only place I’d needed to.

What the heck is that, you ask? Well, it’s a mixture of things like ginger, cloves, pepper, nutmeg, rice powder and cinnamon. Like the Balinese Lulur Scrub, this paste is rubbed all over your naked body before you’re wrapped like a spiced cadaver to stew in your own juices. It is said that Boreh improves blood circulation, relieves muscular pains and headaches, and is good for healing the flu. I can’t vouch for all that, but I did enjoy the treatment.

Having been to Putri Bali II for a Lulur Scrub my first week here, I choose to go to Putri Bali I to try the Boreh. I also decide to get a facial since I haven’t yet had one here. Typically I don’t like facials because they hurt, my nose runs and I enjoy popping my own zits, but for $5, I can afford to take a walk on the wild side.

The technician leads me through Putri Bali I’s lush garden to a private hut and starts me off with the facial. My hair is pulled back out of my face with a terry cloth band of questionable cleanliness. Then various lotions and tinctures are applied to my countenance. It’s relaxing, but is also totally something I could do at home and in less time. This isn’t like the pseudo-medical facials I’ve gotten at home from certified estheticians. There is no magnifying glass, no bright lights, no “expressing of facial congestion.” It’s just a down-home face cleanse and that’s alright by me.

After the facial, the real fun begins. I’m given a pair of tourist panties and then the woman rubs the dark brown Boreh paste all over my body. It’s messy as hell and when all is said and done, the term “scat play” comes to mind (sorry, Puritans). It smells nice though and I am wrapped up and left to my thoughts to let the paste really work its magic.

After maybe 10 minutes, I am led to the outdoor bathroom attached to my private hut. The woman tells me to shower before getting into the flower petal bath she has prepared. I heed her instructions, hoping my shower runoff will be turned into some sort of Balinese mulled wine. Then I dip myself into the bath and soak my cares away while sipping hot ginger tea and watching ants scurry around the tub.

Travel Betty Basics

Putri Bali I, Legian, Bali Indonesia
Ambiance: 3.0 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Treatment: 3.5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Cost: Boreh Scrub 100,000 rupiah (including tax) / Facial 50,000 rupiah (including tax)
What that means in U.S. Dollars: $16.21

Other Betties Blogging About Boreh

Karla, over at Write Sense
Yoyo, of Yoyo The Sheep fame 

If you could have a nice young man travel to your luxurious private villa to perform his grandmother-taught reflexology skills on your fat lounging carcass, wouldn’t you? Me too.

It just so happened that the owner of Villa Naga Maya was having his friend Roy come over to give him a massage. Knowing how crazy I am about massages, he asked if I would like to get one too. Um, yes please.

Roy is serious about his reflex talents. Even though his main trade is exporting antiques (don’t ask). All you have to care about is that he really knows what he is doing.

I told him that my lower back had been hurting a lot and seriously for the next few days the pain is gone. In its place is the bruise-like soreness I feel due to the extreme pressure Roy used to treat me, but still. See he doesn’t speak much English, and tended to giggle when I said the pressure is too hard. After awhile, I just decided to take the abuse and hope that I would be rewarded with a pain-free back. And I was.

Unfortunately, I lost his number so I don’t know how to get in touch with him directly. But if you are in dire need of a private masseur to treat your muscles to something healing for a price that can’t be beat and you either speak Indonesian or don’t mind serious finger pressure OR if you’re looking for Balinese antiques for some reason, you could probably get in touch with Merrick at Villa Naga Maya and inquire politely about Roy. You’ll be sure to make his day.

This being my third time in Ubud and the third time in Ubud that it’s raining, I decide to skip my typical wanderings up and down Monkey Forest Road looking for knickknacks nobody wants or needs and instead head back to Kenko for another amazing foot reflexology treatment. I decide to throw in a manicure too, what the heck.

The male technician I had last time is busy with another customer so this time the pregnant woman performs her magic on my feet. She doesn’t use as much pressure, but it’s still a damn good experience. Worlds better than the “reflexology” I got at Secret Garden Spa in Kuta and universes better than yesterday’s debacle.

A few minutes in, I hear the front door open and an American accent inquires about treatment. I recognize the voice as my friend visiting from Singapore and we have a good laugh about how she so quickly gave up shopping in the rain. It seems Kenko Reflexology really attracts the Americans.

Once my foot massage is done, the woman gives me a manicure and I realize why it says reflexology on the sign outside and not manicure. I try to explain that I want my nails to all be clipped to the same length, but fail in my communications. Then I’m only given one coat of polish. Having chosen a pale shade of pink, I walk out of Kenko with uneven, barely perceptibly painted nails. But damn, my feet feel fantastic!

Travel Betty Basics
Kenko Reflexology
(Jl. Monkey Forest next to Komaneka Resort)
Telephone: (0361)975293
4 other Bali locations
Ambiance: 2 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Reflexology Treatment: 5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Manicure: 2 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Cost: 80,000 rupiah total
What that means in U.S. Dollars: $8.74

My friend from Singapore and I arrived at the Pertiwi Resort & Spa not an hour before and decided to splurge. Since spa is in the name, I know to expect higher prices than I’ve been paying, but I also figure I can expect an expertly performed massage. Not so.

No, Travel Betty, turn back!

The spa complex is set in the back of the expansive property, near the second pool. There are a couple of private massage huts and even a Jacuzzi (which featured a plethora of dead bugs floating on the water’s surface, Mmmmm!).

The place is empty so we use the spa phone to call up for two massage therapists. After a short wait, one shows up. There are discussions and confusion about needing another therapist and I am turned down for my request for the Boreh scrub and so settle for what they are calling an aromatherapy massage.

My friend is led into her hut while I wait and wait and wait for someone else to show. On the brink of leaving, a woman finally appears.

We walk into the humid, mosquito-filled hut and she goes to work…scratching her mosquito bites. Seriously, for about 10 minutes she is so itchy, she basically just scratches herself while keeping one hand on my back. That hand doesn’t move, but I’m pretty sure the woman still defines what she is doing as “giving a massage.” Finally I can tell by the pressure that she is giving her bites the ol’ Hot Cross Buns and soon after, her attention seems to turn at least minimally more towards our shared purpose.

During this whole production, I am focused on a bowl of water placed on the ground below my face rest. In it floats a single yellow flower. The way the evening’s light is coming in through the window, it looks like a brilliant still life painting. I decide that even though the massage is crap, I can enjoy the simple beauty of this scene.

For a brief moment, I allow my eyes to close. I hear a loud thump and splash. Opening my eyes, I see that the therapist has tripped over my still life. Water covers the floor and the flower clings to the side of the bowl like a desperate Titanic victim. There goes that.

A few minutes later, when all of the light has drained from the hut, my therapist leaves me to fumble around for a light switch. She fumbles. And fumbles. And fumbles. And can’t find one. Or at least one that works. Then she comes back to me distracted. After another minute of massage, she leaves me again for more fumbling.

Finally, she hears that my friend is done with her massage and goes out to grab the other therapist to help her locate a switch. Together they folly around until a light source is discovered.

Face-up now, I am blasted by a shot of bright fluorescent light. I open my eyes and see the therapist gazing down at my watch in her hands and I think, “Yeah, me too sister.”

The time ticks by slowly, but finally she says, “Finished. Good?”

“Yes,” I say. And it’s the truth. It’s good that it’s finished.

Travel Betty Basics

Pertiwi Resort & Spa
Monkey Forest St, Ubud, Bali, Indonesia
Phone: 62 361 975236
Ambience: 2 out of 5 passion fruits
Treatment: 1 out of 5 passion fruits
Cost: US $20 with 10% discount for being hotel guest

I have a friend visiting from Singapore. I love that fact. I’m in Bali 8,000 miles away from home and I’ve got a houseguest. That’s awesome.

Once she arrives though I’m anxious to hit the road. There are a couple places I still want to see around the island and having never been to Bali before, she’s up for anything. Next thing you know, I’m getting a ½ hour massage on a lounge chair overlooking the Indian Ocean during sunset at the Dancing Dragon Feng Shui Cottages in Amed. Life is rough.

My friend is in our room getting her own massage. To give her privacy, I grabbed my magazine and a beer out of the minibar and padded down to the infinity pool overlooking the beach. A couple is busy making kissy faces in the pool, so I opt to relax on one of the chairs with a view of the many fishermen still out on the water hoping for a last minute haul.

An Indonesian woman who I think works for the hotel soon comes and sits down near me. She asks if I’d like a massage and I smile graciously and say no. I just feel like reading and gazing out at the sunset. She accepts my refusal and gazes out at the sunset too. After a few moments, we start to chat and then I think about how little money this woman probably makes and she seems very nice and the setting is gorgeous and I’m doing my 30 spa treatments in 30 days challenge and so why the heck WOULDN’T I get a massage right now?

So, down goes a towel and off comes my bikini top. And the nice lady gives me a fantastic massage as the sun goes home for the night.

Travel Betty Basics

Dancing Dragon Cottages
Amed Beach, Karangasem, East Bali, Indonesia
From within Bali, call 0363 23521
From overseas, call +62 363 23521
Ambiance: 5 out of 5 passion fruits
Treatment: 4.5 out of 5 passion fruits
Cost: 50,000 rupiah for 1/2 hour massage
What that means in U.S. dollars: $5.35

I fell for Eden Green because of their branding. Every day I walk by and see the sherbet green and white signage and think to myself that I’ll have to try it out sooner or later. Most super low-cost massage places are more like cheap hair salons with massage thrown in as an afterthought. So, once I exhausted my top spa choices, I decide to reward Eden Green and their design team for going the extra kilometer.

When I walk up, a nice young man meets my gaze. He’s the only guy in the group of technicians sitting outside the door and I figure he’ll inquire about my massage choice and then turn me over to one of the women for servicing. Instead, he leads me inside and upstairs where there are four empty cots separated by curtains. The curtains don’t have a lot of girth. In fact, they only stretch out far enough to conceal your head and maybe shoulders. This leads me to believe that the massage will be clothed. The young boy holding up a sarong to protect my modesty while telling me to undress leads me to believe differently. Cue my insecurities.

After much internal deliberation, I decide to leave my bra and underwear on for this one. I don’t think it’s cool to be naked for this kid and the place isn’t really all that nice. The branding doesn’t seem to extend indoors. Probably because at that point, they figure they’ve got you. So, just in case the building catches on fire while I’m being rubbed down, I’m leaving some traveling clothes on. Of course this causes a bit of confusion for the masseur. After I lie down, he asks if he can unhook my bra. I realize that hasn’t happened since 8^th grade (the grade he is probably in). I say sure and then giggle silently as he tries to figure out the complicated hooks.

Aside from the décor, the massage itself is pretty good. Since I’m lying facedown on a cot instead of an actual massage table, my head is kinked at an awkward angle. And other people are shuffling around the cramped upstairs space, so it’s not a “Calgon, take me away” kind of experience. But the man-child has strong firm hands and I am grateful for him attacking my many knots.

When it’s over, he hooks my bra back together and again holds up the sarong to act as my human dressing room. I throw my clothes on quickly to lessen the awkwardness for us both. Then I walk out the door glistening like a freshly-oiled bike chain, ready for another big night on the town.

Travel Betty Basics

Eden Green

Jalan Werkudara No.48, Legian, Bali
Telephone 081 417 658 0818354751
Ambiance: 1 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Treatment: 2.5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Cost: 70,000 for one hour Traditional Balinese Massage
What that means in U.S. Dollars: $7.42

Unsatisfied with the reflexology at Secret Garden Spa, I was back on the hunt for a place to replicate my Kenko’s experience up in Ubud. Chill didn’t just replicate it, they annihilated it! Actually, it’s probably not fair to compare the two because both offer extremely competent and professional reflexology. It’s just that Chill went the extra step (ha! ha! it’s a pun, everybody!) to create an utterly relaxing reflexology EXPERIENCE!

Your treatment starts off behind the reception area where there is a funky pyramidal-shaped foot-washing station. When I first arrived, I assumed the entire massage was to take place here and I thought, “eh.” But it doesn’t.

Once your feet have been lathered up and rinsed, they pull back a large white door covered in vinyl to reveal a whisper-quiet chamber of calm. Ommmm.

The lights are dim. The tones are hushed. The reflexology chairs are separated by filmy white curtains and you are served hot tea and water in addition to being given a cooling face cloth (these cloths are common in Bali and just so damn refreshing). Then, and this is the best part aside from the actual massage, you are given your very own iPod nano with a variety of playlists to choose from like Bali Chill, Electronica, even Country (bleh!). I just think that is such a nice touch. Getting to listen to your own choice of music and really feeling like you’re escaping when you close your eyes.

The actual reflexology is superb and is done using the peppermint & orange lotion you smelled upon arrival. It’s so yummy, I bought three bars of soap on offer on my way out. And don’t get the wrong impression that even though this is a reflexology studio that they are going to just stick to your foot zone. Nope. Once you’ve had your lower extremities attended to, they move to your arms, hands, neck and back. So, you actually feel as though you’ve had a full body massage.

I walked out of this place feeling like I was stepping on cushions of air and determined to return again soon. Will I? You’ll have to stay tuned to the Spa Series to find out!

Travel Betty Basics

Chill Reflexology
Jalan Kunti 118X, Seminyak, Bali
Telephone (62 361) 730 840
Ambiance: 5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Treatment: 5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Cost: 108,900 including tax for 1 hour
What that means in U.S. Dollars: $11.71 total

Want to get a feel for the actual experience? Check out this short video clip that Chill Reflexology produced and posted on YouTube:

I come across Secret Garden Spa. Their website looks good. It’s informative and thorough and I see they even do Japanese Thermal Hair Straightening for a very affordable price. I wouldn’t risk it personally, since you’re not supposed to get your hair wet or even sweat for a couple days after the treatment (impossible in Bali). But, this all convinces me that I should hail a quick cab to Kuta and give it a whirl.

The spa looks kind of blah when I arrive and I turn out to be the only customer in the joint. Not at all what I expected from the polished website. But, the women are nice enough and the price is definitely right, so I sign up for my two treatments.

I am led upstairs to a sterile room with a lone massage table. Now, I’ve noticed over the past week or so that my back aches having to lie down flat for extended periods on these tables. But usually I’m getting a full-body massage, so eventually, the technician rubs my back and it goes away. For reflexology, however, I should be sitting up or reclining. At least that’s how I’ve experienced it in the past. Already I’m not anticipating the same professionally soothing experience as I had at Kenko’s.

The technician starts to rub and lotion my legs. I give her a few minutes before passing judgment. It’s a fair enough leg massage, but it is NOT reflexology. There is no poking or prodding my pressure points and no real technique. So, with an aching back, I decide to just alter my expectation and enjoy the experience for what it is.

Next up is the hair creaming. Back downstairs, my hair is shampooed and my head massaged over a typical beautician-style sink. Then I am seated in a chair facing a mirror (a little nerve wracking when someone is massaging your head and you are forced to watch yourself—kind of like during sex.) The hair technician slowly works a bowl of what smells like drugstore conditioner into my hair. Her hands are strong and she gives my head a good pummeling. It feels good though and I pride myself on the fact that my pain tolerance is increasing throughout this entire experiment.

After the creaming, she wraps my head in a towel, wheels over a big old hair dryer like you see in 1950s movies where the hood comes down over your head, and hands me a big, thick book of classic Australian jokes for me to entertain myself with as I stew. Quirky!

It takes me a while to notice that nothing is really happening with the dryer hood. I don’t hear any sound. I don’t feel any heat. I’m about to go up front and tell her the thing is broken when thick white puffs of smoke start billowing out. Before I can yell, “Fire!” I realize that it’s steam. Ahhhh, I’m an idiot! I sit back and allow it to penetrate my towel so that my hair can be extra lustrous for this evening’s activity of eating alone at a local restaurant.

By the way, don’t think I haven’t wondered if all of this spa pomp and circumstance is just bullshit. I’m pretty sure most of it is, (as far as claiming to strengthen, tone, perk, invigorate, smooth, etc.), but I also do believe that there is value to taking time out for yourself, slowing down and distressing. I mean, sure, I wish my cellulite would disappear or my hair would shine like a pony’s mane once I step out the door. But I’m happy just to zone out for a short while and have a little human contact. I mean really, isn’t that something we all could stand to do a bit more often?

Travel Betty Basics

Secret Garden Spa
Jl. Legian #363, Legian, Kuta, Bali
Telephone: (62-361) 76 72 76
Ambiance: 1.5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Treatments: 2.5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Cost: 65,000 rupiah for crème bath (5,000 less for short hair)
60,000 rupiah for foot reflexology (aka. just a massage)
What that means in U.S. Dollars: $13.45 total

Anway.

So, today is the big day. (Well, it was when I first wrote this…10/31/07) Travel Boyfriend and I are taking the Nestea Plunge® into wedded matrimony. But first, I’m going to offer myself over to Tugu Hotel’s spa staff to tenderize me into a state of euphoria.

Bless their souls, Tugu Hotel offers a mind-boggling array of spa options in a variety of settings amidst their lush and architecturally detailed property. I knew I had met my match when I requested their spa menu and received an 18-page PDF file in return. No joke!

For the next 150 minutes (while Travel Boyfriend lounges by the pool wondering what the heck I could possibly be doing for 2 ½ hours), I am scheduled to receive the four-pronged Keraton treatment, which Tugu describes thusly:

A combination of several techniques and treatments, to make you feel like a Javanese Prince or Princess in Keraton (Javanese Palace). This Keraton treatment applies the Royal Javanese full body treatment. This cultural experience will take you to the journey through time of Javanese total body treatment. It begins with a 45-minues scalp massage and traditional hair treatment called Ratus Wangi (a hair perfuming treatment where the hair is perfumed with the steam of boiling essence), followed by a 45-minutes full-body traditional Balinese massage, Royal Javanese Luluran (traditional, all-natural body scrub) and ends with a relaxing, indulging Mandi Susu Bunga (tropical floral and milk bath).

Dear god, doesn’t that make you feel relaxed just reading it? And steam of boiling essence? How do they think these things up?

My treatment is taking place in an al fresco hut with gentle breezes blowing across my bare skin. That actually sounds better than it is when we get to the part where I’m slathered in turmeric paste and yogurt. Then it’s just darn right chilly. And to be honest, 2 ½ hours is actually an insanely long period of time to be lying on a massage table. But, the two attendants couldn’t be sweeter. They are my wedding day Aunties and they keep me from dwelling too much on not having my bridesmaids around on this special day.

My only worry during the process is making sure I am able to completely scrub off the turmeric paste. During my first lulur the week prior, I came home at the end of the night with a bra and tank top stained yellow. This was super classy since I’d been hanging out at Captain Cook’s that night trying to make friends and was unaware that it looked like I was sporting golden NBA-player-sized pit stains.

But as I bob around after the massage and scrub in the flowered milk bath, one of my Tugu Aunties assures me I will be fine and that the natural paste will not stain my dress. Then she scoops warm water up from the tub and drizzles it over my arms and back as she chats to me about her daughter. The moment feels very Ya Ya Sisterhood (and I like it). Then she instructs me to get out of the tub so she can pat me dry.

“You can take off underwear.”

I glance down and see that my tourist panties looks like I’m wearing the adult diaper of a nursing home patient on an all-carrot diet. Ew! Feeling surprisingly unmodest, I slip them off and allow her to envelop me in a towel.

Afterwards she says, “You can put underwear on now.”

Not too sure I want to get back into the slogging mass, my hand moves furtively to the tourist panties bunched up on the edge of the tub.

“No, the underwear of Miss Betty.”

Shwew!

I am then led over to the hair creaming station. Mmmm, my scalp is massaged and my hair is creamed and then I smell the boiling essence and the breeze is blowing and I’m warm from the bath and I think they could be preparing me for an execution instead of a wedding right now and I wouldn’t care a lick.

Soon enough I’m led back to the pool area where Travel Boyfriend has just started to get antsy. He laughs and points at a flower the Tugu Auntie hung from a single strand of my hair. Guys just don’t get it.

Travel Betty Basics

Tugu Hotel
Jl. Pantai Batu Bolong, Canggu Beach, Bali, Indonesia
Telephone +62 361 731 701
Ambiance: 5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Treatment: 5 out of 5 Passion Fruits
Cost: US $74 (this was my splurge, but imagine what it would have cost in the States!)